Good bye, ms. positivitey....fuck that!!!! White trash spirit is taking over my body.........ass wipe boyfriend (yeap, white trash spirit got me good this time).......comes up yelling and bitching at me because i wouldn't answer phone when he called.....fuck, why even get out of bed?????? i had an appointment today at 12:00 ....at the clinical trials place.....he got home at 12:00 noon....too late for my appt.......so what....the only hope i have right now in my life.........maybe they can help me there....and now, its gone.... i know ....being all dramatic but really, i was counting on that to help me.......and he just blows it all for me......
that is what is wrong with depending on someone else......and i have no car, no job, no place to live so i have to depend solely on him....don't have to ...i guess, i just do......i sit and watch my live go by and by, and suck and suck, and get deeper and deeper in my whole.....and i give him the power to control it and he does.
so, here i am with my life just going down the drain.....and me going down with it.
today, right now.....i know i'm headed for disaster.
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